Man Law Inc

Who says white boys cant jump

admin — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:18:36 +0000

Dick in a box

admin — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:17:22 +0000

Never drinking again

admin — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:15:08 +0000

Michael Jackson

admin — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:13:36 +0000

Jizz in my pants

admin — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:09:29 +0000

How to ditch your girl

admin — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:59:25 +0000

Top rejection lines

admin — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:03:45 +0000

10. I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly)
6. I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly)
5. I don’t date women where I work.) (You’re ugly)
4. It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly)
3. I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly)
2. I’m celibate. (You’re ugly)
1. Let’s be friends. (You’re sinfully ugly)

Perfect day

admin — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:02:33 +0000

Her Perfect Day…
0815 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
0830 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday.
0845 Breakfast in bed - freshly squeezed orange juice and
0915 Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil.
1000 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
1030 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry. 1200 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.
1245 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend’s ex and notice she has gained 7kg
1300 Shopping with friends - unlimited credit.
1500 Nap.
1600 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card from a secret admirer.
1615 Light workout at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.
1730 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror.
1930 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing with compliments received from other diners/guests.
2200 Hot shower (alone).
2240 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
2315 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
His Perfect Day…
0600 Alarm.
0615 Blow job.
0630 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section.
0700 Breakfast - rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom wench.
0730 Limo arrives.
0745 Several whiskeys en-route to airport.
0815 Flight in personal Lear jet.
0930 Limo to St. Andrews (blow job en-route).
0945 Play front nine (2 under).
1145 Lunch - pie, chips and gravy. 3 lagers & bottle of Dom Perignon.
1215 Blow job
1230 Play back nine (4 under).
1415 Limo back to airport (several whiskeys).
1430 Fly to Monte Carlo.
1600 Late afternoon fishing with female crew (all nude).
1630 Land world record Marlin (1245lbs) - on light tackle.
1700 Fly home - massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson.
1845 Shit, shower and shave.
1900 Watch news - Michael Jackson murdered, marijuana and porn legalized.
1930 Dinner - lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon
1953, big juicy fillet steak, followed by ice cream served on a pair of tits.
2100 Napoleon brandy and Cuban cigar in front of wall sized TV as you watch the superbowl.
2130 Sex with 3 women (all with lesbian tendencies).
2300 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale.
2330 Final blow job.
2345 In bed alone.
2350 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
2351 Laugh self to sleep.

The beer effect

admin — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:00:48 +0000

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.
It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.

Police stop

admin — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:58:15 +0000

A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when
he is pulled over by the Police.
The police officer approaches him and asks: “Have you been drinking Sir?”
“Why?” asks the man, “Was I all over the road?”
“No” replies the Officer, “You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that made me suspicious.”